Writing this post isn’t easy for me.
- Putting my inner struggles out into the vast internet
- Putting words to my inner dialogue
- Facing the judgment that might come from admitting I’ve let go of what makes me “happy” (I can already hear the voices labeling us “slaves”)
But here I am, sharing this with you anyway. Because deep down, I know I’m not alone. I’m not the only mom who feels like her personal desires sometimes pull her further from what glorifies God. And, honestly, in the daily whirlwind of homemaking and motherhood, the chance to have a real coffee chat with a friend is a rare gift.
Dying to self is hard. So very hard.
We live in a world that insists life should feel good, that personal dreams come first. But God has shown me over the years that this mindset is a lie—one meant to steer us away from what truly matters. Our purpose isn’t self-achievement or personal satisfaction. Our top priority is to glorify God and live in a way that’s holy and set apart. At first, this sounded like a beautiful idea—until I realized that much of what I thought I was doing “for Him” was actually for me. And that had to change.
For years, I owned an online boutique. Things were going well, and life seemed good, but the work was exhausting. I was a slave to the algorithm, going live daily and often late into the night to keep up. As a homeschooling mom of four and a homemaker, the constant hustle was wearing me out. Eventually, I shifted the business to selling Christian apparel, which allowed me to step back from the live streams. But even then, I was still a content-making machine, squeezing in work every spare minute to keep the marketing going.
It was pulling me away from the quiet moments with God. The weight of it all left me tired and snappy, far from the mother and wife God was calling me to be. I even started to resent the time spent on home-cooked meals and keeping our home cozy and clean because I could’ve been working instead.
So I quit. My flesh still screams at me for it.
I didn’t quit because I wanted to, or because I was failing. I quit because I realized I could either live for myself, dragging my family along, or I could lay down my desires to be the wife and mother that would make Jesus proud.
So here we are.
Jesus is worth it. It hasn’t been easy, and I know there will still be days when I feel the weight of all I’ve let go. But I also know this: When I’m near the end of my life, my family won’t remember my wardrobe, my business achievements, or any accolades. Instead, they’ll remember the peace of a warm home, the comfort of home-cooked meals, sweet treats before practice, the conversations we shared, and the Bible studies we explored together.
These are the legacies I want to leave. I want my kids to remember a home that reflected God’s love, and a mom who didn’t just talk about Jesus but who lived out a relationship with Him.
So, if you’re in a place where you feel like you’ve poured every ounce of yourself into motherhood and homemaking, I see you. God sees you. The work of a God-fearing homemaker is challenging and filled with daily self-denial. But it’s also work that matters, work that honors God and leaves a legacy of faith for the generations to come.
Know this: the choices we make today will impact our children, their children, and even the generations that follow. Exodus 34:7 and Deuteronomy 5:9 remind us of this reality—not as a warning of unforgiveness, but as a reminder of the lasting effect of our choices. Our motherhood is their childhood, and it leaves a mark. We get to choose what that mark will be.
Your choices matter. And if no one has told you this lately, I’m proud of you for choosing this path.
